You Can Chase All the Seagulls You Want in Heaven

by Brenna
(Alaska)

We got Patches when I was about 7. She was the runt and we were told that there were no guarantees on how long she would live, but my parents loved her so much that they said they would take their chances.

They surprised my brothers and me as they walked out with a puppy that could literally fit in the palm of your hand. She was so small and scared. On the car ride home, my mom had Patch wrapped up in her jacket, but it wasn't cozy enough for this lil pup. Instead, Patches crawled all the way down my mom's coat sleeve and stuck her lil nose out of the wrist hole. That's how she slept for the first couple weeks in her new home.

For the first month, we had to feed her milk and hard boiled eggs to get her to gain weight. (Good thing she liked it.) She moved to new states with us, went on numerous camping trips, road trips, and hikes. At the end of the day she was just happy to have company.

I awoke to a thud in the middle of the night on October 1st. I grabbed my mace and started walking the house because I thought maybe our house was getting broken into. Instead, I found my dog of 14 years crashed on the floor, having a seizure.

How my heart broke as I watched my childhood friend suffer. I felt her heart racing and watched her try to breathe. I ran and yelled for my parents to wake them, then ran back and laid beside her. I put my arm under and lifted her head in attempts to open her airway. When she pulled through, I was so relieved, and when she was able to stand and walk, I was impressed.

But, when she started to walk, she was running and bumping into things. She was so confused she didn't know where she was and she didn't know who we were anymore.

We took her to a 24 hour clinic where it was decided that she was too far gone to help. The veterinarian believed she had a brain tumor and it was time to lay her to rest.

As the vet was getting ready to start the procedure, something changed in her eyes and she remembered my mom. She sat on my mom's lap and snuggled with her until she went peacefully.

Patches, I don't know how I will adjust to day to day life now. You grew up with me and were there for all of my milestones along with Panda. I hope you two are thriving in heaven and I hope you will be waiting for us when it is our time to go. What a dreary place heaven would be without you.

All my love, Tank and my lil mama<3