Thank You, My Darling Girl

by Jan O'Connor
(UK)

Thank you, Bella, for spending 12 years with me. Thank you for the unconditional love, those soft as silk ears that held all those whispered secrets that only we shared.

You were only a little dog but oh my word what a huge hole you have left in my heart. It has been less than a week since we parted but it seems like minutes.

I can't seem to manage without you here somehow. The pain and the loneliness seem overwhelming.

I picked up your coat today, held it to my face and breathed in your familiar smell. For a few precious minutes I had you back with me. I haven't moved your bed yet, it's still right next to mine, almost as if it's waiting for you.

I never realised how big the bathroom is, probably because it's just me in there now. You haven't followed me in there to curl up and watch with amusement as I wash my hair or have a shower.

Bella, something in me has died along with you, but remember the promise we made "For near and far, forever and always."

Sleep well, little one.

Bella was my Shih Tzu, best friend, confidante and constant shadow. We were together for 12 years. Only someone who is going through this will ever understand the gut-wrenching pain, the emptiness and the tears that come freely.

Tomorrow I will walk on the beach and picture her racing around with her ears blowing back and the sheer joy on her face and take the same route home we always did. Maybe I'll see her there, just a quick glimpse.