Rusty Dog

by Judy Woods
(Fredericton NB)

Rusty Dog was 14 when I had to help him get to heaven. I had no idea at the time how hard it would turn out to be. I knew he was getting tired and I was the only one to help him. So I call the vet and made the appointment, then canceled it the next day. I could not do it.

We have been all across Canada together, had our cries together. He was the only reason I wanted to come home. I knew he was always waiting for me.

How could I possibly go on with out him? What was I thinking? Two days later, after many tears, I made another appointment. I knew I had to help him. I held his head in my hands and talked to him and told him how much I loved him.

I looked in his eyes as he took his last breath. Then I held him for quite some time as I told him how sorry I was and how I loved him and was going to miss him. It was not till I returned home without my buddy that I cried beyond words. My heart is broken. My life will never be the same.

I now have Rusty's ashes home. He is with me where he belongs. I talk to him still. I sleep with his blanket.

I miss him every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Did I make the right choice to stop him from pain? I do not know. I ask myself every minute, could I have waited? But for what? Because I love him, I did what I needed to do. I know that. I get it. But GOD it hurts. I am broken beyond words. My friend is gone. And I miss him.

I love you Rusty Dog
Till I see you again
The tears will roll.