My Beloved Buddy

by Christine
(Cambridge, ON Canada)

I am completely and utterly inconsolable. We had to put our 6 year old shipoo Buddy down yesterday. The vet said he had either diabetes or Cushing's Disease.

Just three days ago he was running through the park chasing squirrels. Two days ago was the first time he didn't want to go for his early morning walk. His health rapidly deteriorated. I couldn't bear for him to go through more tests.

He didn't eat for two days and couldn't control his bladder. On his last night I piled blankets on the end of the bed in case he lost function of his bladder. In the middle of the night he was cuddled up beside me. At that point I didn't care about my mattress.

For two days I begged Buddy to give Mommy a kiss. He was too ill. When we took him to the vet ... seconds before he was put down ... he kissed my cheek and gazed lovingly in my eyes. His body wasn't shaking with fear. He went very peacefully.

I don't know how I will go on without him. I couldn't even go in to work today. I've never experienced this kind of pain before. He will no longer be in the window waiting for me to come home. I don't have to sneak into the fridge to make myself a snack. His warm cuddly body will no longer be there to comfort me. His unconditional love is gone.

I try to comfort myself with the thoughts of how lucky we both were to have each other. My husband is suffering as much as I am ... but holding his pain in ... as most men will do.

Buddy, thank you for loving me. I pray that when I leave this earth you will be waiting for me with your tail wagging.