Miles, My Big Boy

On Dec 16, 2011, your Dad and I made the decision to end you pain. We stayed with you, calmed you, knowing this would be the last time you'd see us. I was holding you tightly, tears rolling while you received the first and second injections. You took your last breath, while your head gently lay on my arm. I knew then you were gone. 11 years-the best years. Oh my boy, if only you knew I too died with you. Your pain ended, mine just begun.

6 weeks on and my heart still breaks. I miss you, my love, everyday! I tried my best to be stronger for Loi and Pepper (cats), your sisters, and your brother Charlie (dog/Pom). I guess it's not easy for them either, especially when they see their mommy very sad. I cried almost every time I was not working. To be at home I guess reminds me of you. Also when I see Charlie sitting outside, waiting for you.

What am I going to do?

I pray you're not alone or even hungry. I wish for you to visit us, even in our dreams. I love you, Miles, and we all miss you! Sleep, my baby. One day we'll see each other again.