Little Duallie

Little Duallie. I can't even express how much I already miss you. You were such a funny, happy, strange little pup.

It's like we knew each other from a past life. We bonded immediately, and you never left my side. Don't go thinking you were a saint, you could be TERRIBLE at times. Jack Russells are always a handful.

Even when you were bad, I couldn't stay mad. You always laughed me out of it quickly. When the vet said you were sick, I nursed you for a full year with special diet, and I carried you when you had trouble walking. Sometimes I think you faked it so I'd carry you everywhere, because whenever you'd see a bird, you could run just fine. I think you just loved being in my arms. I'm so glad we had that extra year, but I still feel cheated. You were only 12, and every other dog I had lived till at least 16. It doesn't seem fair.

The way you left was tragic, but also peaceful. I knew you were in pain and I dreaded taking you to the vet to get euthanized. You hated the vet. We had one more night together, with you curled up warm in the small of my back.

When I got up and carried you outside in the morning, I knew that was the day I had to be brave and take you. I rocked you like a baby and cried into your soft neck, and you licked me once on the nose, then you died. In my arms. It was like you knew I would be a wreck at the vet, so you left when we were alone in the morning sun.

I hope you're in heaven, but I'm sad because your heaven was where I was. You loved me more than anything.

We buried you under that little tree you loved so much, so I can say hi to you every morning. I hope and pray we'll be together again someday, and I hope you're waiting for me.

I don't know who wrote this quote, but we're having it made into a little memorial plaque for your grave. It sums up my love perfectly.

"If there's no God for thee, there's no God for me."

I love you my beautiful, odd little son. I dreamed you came back to me, so I'll be watching for a roly poly little male jack russell.