by Vishal
(Kolkata India)
8 years, 10 months, 21 days, 20 hours. This is how long she lived. A black brown coloured skinny puppy, this was how she was when I first saw her and took her in my hands. A little scared I was. But this was a very happy moment for me, which still lives inside me.
Then came the struggle period as she was battling a series of problems of loss of appetite and others. I used to carry her sitting back on a cycle.
She was my first best friend. I don't have many. She came even before I knew myself. We celebrated her birthdays. 4 years later something happened. I next saw her 4-5 years after I left. Her happiness after seeing me was something words would fail to describe.
I looked at her closely. Her white whiskers made me unhappy, thinking of her death, but I didn't wanted to think that, and why would I? Her jumping and amazing sounds of happiness made me forget all that.
Today I got to know she is no more and passed away a few hours back. This really shook me. I feel very bad and unhappy. Tears came for some time.
She used to listen to all my sukh-dukhs for so long but what about those secrets I told her. I am not the same person I used to be when I first saw her. I and my appearance have greatly changed over the years, even my emotions have changed. But the bond with her is 90% still the same.
Those days when I used to brush her teeth and used to forcefully feed her medicine, which she never wanted to eat. Her habits, like one of running to the air conditioning room in summers, her stupid things, like waking me up at night just for her night walk. These things are little but are very precious.
This makes me believe the theory of karma for my sake that souls are immortal and it's the main cause of bonding. Bodies are more or less the same and exactly for animals.
I'll do something in her memory shortly. I am connected to her soul, which I will always see in actions of other dogs. She is definitely here with me. She is nowhere but here only.
I wished to see her one last time, but helpless I am. Happy to know she had been in good health and with good people all her life.
You will be in my life always. You are nowhere, but with me. Our bond is immortal though we are mortal. You are here, here only. They said they felt helpless seeing her breathe her last breaths. I am thankful I was not there. I couldn't have seen that.
You are here, only around me in every dog. Our relationship, you and I both will remember until I no longer breathe.
To Jenny, my first friend. I love you a lot, baby. This reminds me of the great speech by RFK that even in our sleep we cannot forget the pain of losing our best ones.
This pain falls drop by drop on our heart and from there comes wisdom, wisdom to know that she is with me, not just in my memories but even in every dog, every foolish idiot cute dog.
I won't say RIP. Rather, I would say "be my companion forever." Whenever I do good, it's proof of your presence. Y are in my goods. And you are here only, nowhere else. See you soon. Love you.
Vishal (10/06/2016)
Some day, somewhere, I will see you whole again.