I Love You, Monty

by Lindsay
(Ottawa)

Today is the third day without you. I miss waking up in the morning with you following me to the kitchen, and your requests to pet you while my coffee is brewing.

Towards the end you would whine at me, which sounded oddly like "mama" if I didn't pet you. You followed me everywhere and would not come inside unless I did. I'd pet you for hours and hours, trying to soothe your pain, knowing i didn't have much time left.

I hate this stupid cancer that took you from us. I looked at your pictures and it really hit home home how sick you were in the last few weeks. The light in your eyes had dimmed.

You looked so happy on your last trek to the dog park. I'll never forget how you had your head out the window, ears flapping in the wind. We got to the park and you played, ran and swam the best you could. When we got home we could feel you had nothing left in you. We hugged and loved you until you went to sleep forever.

I know it's for the best and you're no longer in pain. I feel selfish for crying all the time because I miss you so much. I miss my bossy, happy, playful Monty.

I read Rainbow Bridge every day and think about the good times. I snuggle the pillow and blanket you slept on for the last few days because it still smells like you. I can't vacuum because I want your hair around.

I know you're my angel and looking over us. Thank you for the sign I had asked for. I'm really hoping time will lessen this pain because it really sucks.