Goodbye My Hairy Friend

This weekend I said goodbye to my very best hairy friend, Lady S Woof, a collie cross who was my companion for nine years. I had been expecting and dreading this day since she developed an incurable cancer a year ago. She defied all veterinary predictions for months and continued to skip around and eat big dinners, and generally love life, but after a terrible night 2 days ago, I knew it was time to say goodbye.

Her final lunch was a roast chicken, then we went for a last walk up to the woods. I had to really encourage her to get up the hill, but once at the stream she found energy to splash around, roll in the mud and fish stones out. I wondered if it was really time for her to go, but I had to remember the way I had found her in the morning. We spent an hour lying in the late summer sun, and then I had to take her in. I felt so weird leaving the vet without her. I was in tears but I had held her as she died and knew she was at peace.

Everybody loved Santa. She made friends wherever we went, on the train, in cafes, on walks. She was good as gold and just wanted to be loved.

I can't believe there will be no more walks, no more hugs and no more games. Her last dog food tin is on the side waiting to be recycled and the chairs still smell of dog. There's dog food in the cupboard and toys under the stairs.

I know I will get used to being without her, but it will take time and I will feel her absence every time I come in the door and there is no bouncy, happy girl running round in circles with the joy of seeing me, even if I was only gone ten minutes.

I guess it's my turn to be left behind while she gets to enjoy doggie heaven, which my nephews assure me is where she is: playing in streams, chasing sticks, and getting covered in mud and fox poo before rolling around on freshly made, white sheets on a big soft bed, and then settling down for a lovely snooze.

Goodbye hairy friend. xxx