Dog Quotes for You to Enjoy

These 40 dog quotes are by unknown authors. There's another page of quotations by unknown authors. Click on the link at the bottom to see the rest of the quotes.

A bicycle does get you there and more. And there is always the thin edge of danger to keep you alert and comfortably apprehensive. Dogs become dogs again and snap at your raincoat; potholes become personal. And getting there is all the fun.

Unknown Author

A blind person walking down Yonge Street in Toronto commanded his dog to turn right to what he thought was the subway entrance. He had miscalculated and found himself completely disoriented in a dead-end alley. A passerby saw his dilemma and asked if he could help.

"Yes, thank you," said the blind man, "I was trying to get to the subway."

The man leaned over to the dog and said slowly and distinctly into the dog's ear, "Take... him... to... the... subway."

Unknown guide dog trainer, reporting the story as told to him

A cat sees us as the dogs. A cat sees himself as the human.

A dog may bark, but his legs will never grow longer.

A dog will quickly turn you into a fool, but who cares? Better your dog than your boss. I'm a fool for my dog and proud of it.

A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but everyone prefers his bark.

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. 

"Well, my mother-in-law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome."

A guy wanted to take his Chihuahua into a restaurant with him, so he put on dark glasses and "tapped" his way in the establishment.

The waiter said, "Hey! You can't bring a dog in here."

The man indignantly claimed, "I'm blind! This is my seeing eye dog!"

"You're trying to tell me," said the waiter, "that this Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog?"

"What???!" cried the man, "they gave me a Chihuahua?"

A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away.

All trees have bark. All dogs bark. Therefore, all dogs are trees. The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree.

Barking dogs don't bite people they don't know.

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

Customer: "Has this dog a good pedigree?"

Shop Owner: "Has he? Say, if that dog could talk, he wouldn't speak to either of us."

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!"... till you can find a rock.

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

Dogs are better than children. Even my friends with children say that. As a dog friend of mine likes to say, children are for people who can't have dogs.

Dogs are lousy poker players. When they get a good hand they wag their tails.

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

Don't litter. Spay & neuter your pets.

Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won't use it.

Every dog has his day—but the nights are reserved for the cats.

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions.

"There are quite a lot of advantages in being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when we long for the companionship of another being—a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute property; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows."

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement.

"So you're thinking of buying a dog?" she said. "I think it's a fine idea. Do let me help you choose one!"

Foxes, rejoice! Here buried lies your foe.

[epitaph inscribed on a wall stone in Euston Park, England]

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or "that's a lot of money for just a dog." 

They don't understand the distance travelled, the time spent, or the costs involved for "just a dog." 

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog." 

Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted. 

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day. 

If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you probably understand phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise." 

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. "Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person. Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. 

So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. 

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day. 

I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a man" or "just a woman." 

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog," just smile, because they "just don't understand."

Greyfriars Bobby.
Died 14th Jan 1872.
Aged 16 years.
Let his loyalty & devotion
Be a lesson to us all.

[inscription on Bobby's headstone, as tribute to the Skye terrier who slept on his master's grave every night for fourteen years. American donors erected the tribute in the 1930s.]

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.

I didn't know if there was a special dog that she was looking for. She just slowly walked through the little burial plot, reading the names and pausing now and then to stop by a gravestone. She stooped down once to touch one of the grave markers and to brush something off of it. She looked sad and thoughtful, and finally left, without saying a word.

Unknown member of Queen Elizabeth's household, talking about the queen's visit to the cemetery on the castle grounds, where her dogs are buried

I explained it to St. Peter,
I'd rather stay here
Outside the pearly gate.
I won't be a nuisance,
I won't even bark,
I'll be very patient and wait,
I'll be here, chewing on a celestial bone,
No matter how long you may be.
I'd miss you so much, if I went in alone,
It wouldn't be heaven for me.

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with this long-rotten squirrel.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

I've been in the hotel business over thirty years. Never yet have I called the police to eject a disorderly dog during the small hours of the night. Never yet has a dog set the bedclothes afire from smoking a cigarette. I've never found a hotel towel or blanket in a dog's suitcase, nor whiskey rings on the bureau top from a dog's bottle. Sure the dog's welcome.

P.S. If he'll vouch for you, come along too.

Unknown hotel manager's reply to a vacationer writing to ask if dogs were permitted

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

[Another version is just below.]

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can conquer the world tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

If you owe a dog anything, call him "sir."

If you want the best seat in the house, move the dog.

Dog Quotes, Unknown Authors, Page 2