Dog Quotes for You to Enjoy

These 26 dog quotes are by authors with surnames that start with "L." Click on the link at the bottom to see the rest of the "L" quotes.

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut?

Jack LaLanne

Some men like a dull life—they like the routine of eating breakfast, going to work, coming home, petting the dog, watching TV, kissing the kids, and going to bed. Stay clear of it—it's often catching.

Hedy Lamarr

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.

Ben Hur Lampman

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Ann Landers

If a pit bull romances your leg, fake an orgasm.

Hut Landon

The next-door neighbors had a German police dog that... acts as a bodyguard for the lady of the house and one day we was over there and the host says to slap his Mrs. on the arm and see what happened so I slapped her on the arm and I can still show you what happened.

Ring Lardner

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Doug Larson

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

Gary Larson

Nothing but love has made the dog lose his wild freedom, to become the servant of man.

D.H. Lawrence

Who loves me loves my dog.

[In French, Qui m'aime il aime mon chien.]

A.J.V. le Reux de Lincy

The Dalmatian breed of dog has many primitive characteristics.

Louis Leakey

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Fran Lebowitz

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail.

Fran Lebowitz, "Pointers for Pets"
Social Studies

The dog is dressed just like me at the climax of my act.

Gypsy Rose Lee, about her Chinese Crested, also known as the Chinese Naked Dog

A naked dog for a naked lady.

Gypsy Rose Lee, referring to Chinese Crested dogs

No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog.

Stanley Leinwoll

She has never messed up a single take yet. Recently I was in a scene and there was a table covered with a cloth. When the director said Cut, I saw a black nose and two paws inching out from under the cloth. She had hidden there without making a sound until we were done with the scene. She wanted to be nearer to me.

Jack Lemmon, referring to Chloe, his poodle, who accompanied him to the movie shoot

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

Jay Leno

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Jay Leno

Clinton's pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they've turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican.

Jay Leno

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

Jay Leno

Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window.

David Letterman

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!

David Letterman

I'm the little dog who goes the wrong way—under the hoop.

Jack Levine

We treat our dogs as if they were "almost human": that is why they really become "almost human" in the end.

C.S. Lewis

The musquetos continue to infest us in such manner that we can scarcely exist. My dog even howls with the torture he experiences.

Meriwether Lewis

Dog Quotes, Author L, Page 2