Dear Floyd, my child, my partner, my best friend

by Leanne
(Jasper, Alberta)

I am so consumed by grief I don't know how to begin. How do I start my day without you there, giving me that big goofy smile and doing that little dance you did? You were always so happy, especially at breakfast or suppertime.

How will I ever be able to take another nap without you to spoon with? How will I sleep peacefully at night without my little heater? How do I go about my errands without you by my side or waiting for me in the van? How can I possibly enjoy my favorite shows without you curled up beside me on the couch? How do I do yoga without my little guru resting zenfully on your couch?

You were always with me, even the day you died, in my arms, so sudden, so tragic. I hope that one day I will see that fateful day as a blessing, that I was there with you, but for now I am just overcome with grief as I replay that moment over and over again.

I love you Floyd. You will always be in my heart, even if it breaks for you as it does now.