Baby Girl

by Halle L
(North Carolina)

I miss you with all my heart.

Your snoring when you dream, I miss.
Almost nightly waking me with your whimpers, I miss.
Your clumsiness when you miss jumping up on the bed, I miss.
You being a loner, I miss.
The only thing getting you excited is food, I miss.
Your unrelenting devotion to Layla, I miss.
That skin tag that near your eye that I desperately wanted to get rid of, I miss.
The little tap dance that you do in order to beg for food, I miss.
The clacking of your nails on the wood floor, I miss.
Your stench that I could never wash away for long, I miss.
The stinky breath that you breathed into my face when you were out of breath, I miss.
The times you escaped the backyard, then waited at the front door in order to be let in, I miss.
The few times that you tolerated cuddling, I miss.
Your pudgy neck that made you appear as a fancy lady wearing a boa, I miss.
Your quirkiness in general, I miss.

You are a very special dog. Except you were more than a dog, you were my Baby Girl. I hate that you are not here with me. There better be a rainbow bridge to meet at or I am going to be so devastated.

You did not deserve to be uncomfortable. That is why we had to let you go so soon. I could not chance that you would be in pain. I apologize that I could not hold you when you went into peaceful sleep. I regret not holding you to the final second.

I want this pain to stop. However, I am so glad that yours did. I much rather have yours stop than mine. I cannot be selfish with you. I expected to have you longer than eight years. But I am so appreciative that you were part of my life.

Mom had no idea that we would be leaving Petsmart with a dog. We had Layla, and we wished that she had a buddy. Luckily, you were there. Apparently you were not supposed to be. It was meant to be.

I started looking at all the dogs: yipping and playful. Then I saw you. A quiet, little lump. There was a sad look to you, Cici. You reminded me of Eeyore. You looked scared and sad, but you were irresistible. My life changed the day we adopted you. You were my Baby Girl.

Despite all the pain I feel, I would not take that day back for anything. You were the light of my life. That light was extinguished the day you left this Earth. You were never a burden.

I hope you knew how loved you were. Sadly, I don’t know your capacity for thinking. All I can hope is on some level, you felt that love.

There will never be another dog like you. You are truly one of a kind. I am not aware of your back story, whether it was good or bad. I hoped you enjoyed your life with me.

Forever you will be my Baby Girl. I will always love you with all my heart. Rest in peace. I will see you at the Rainbow Bridge.